so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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