I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
