Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
