we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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