just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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