fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
