Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
