the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
