Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
