Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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