I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
