I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
