I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
