you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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