There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
