Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
