Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
