I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
