we have officially lost it.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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