Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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