Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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