i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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