It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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