I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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