Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
