Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
