So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize