No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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