How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
