No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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