you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize