Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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