I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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