he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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