i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Your penis caused this!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
