Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
