If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
