It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
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Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
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He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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