The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
