you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
