somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
