I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
