the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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