i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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