you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
