No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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