oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
