Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
