i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize