Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
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