Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
