If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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