We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
