That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
