I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize