Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
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