Don't make out with my wife yet
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
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As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
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Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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