i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
